January 2012
2 tags
DON'T DRIVE DRUNK.
From 6pm-6am on New Year’s Eve/Day AAA will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE, member or not: 800-222-4357
Jan 1st
14,668 notes
1 tag
Automatic cure to any bad mood →
bastardfromabasket: Click link Click any video Spend the rest of the day doing nothing else Be happy forever
Jan 1st
33 notes
“Sirius was too busy being a big rebel to get married.”
– J.K. Rowling (via sirblack)  #except for that time he and Remus had a handfasting ceremony Today I learned that fasting and fisting look extremely similar at first glance.
Jan 1st
1,591 notes
2 tags
Jan 1st
4,943 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: new years resolution?
Jan 1st
December 2011
2 tags
Dec 31st
2,098 notes
2 tags
“A word is as offensive as those who have been victimised by it tell us it is.”
– Tim Minchin, on the word “tranny”. (via reindeerboner)
Dec 31st
2,630 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: As a 21 year old girl, if I walked into your room and saw Mario on the walls, you'd get laid so fast, dude.
Dec 31st
13 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I'd be a little embarrassed to be a 22 year old with any wall in my bedroom, dude.
Dec 31st
Dec 31st
37,120 notes
2 tags
buriedmyselfalive answered your question: So what should I name my turret? I need… Stephie seems like a good name leslie-monsterr answered your question: So what should I name my turret? I need… gustavo. Sorry Stephie. You just got outdid. Gustavo Stephie Knope?
Dec 31st
Dec 31st
15 notes
1 tag
stupidfuckingbitchconvention replied to your post: I’d be a little embarrassed to be a 22 year old with Mario on his walls, dude. oaky i just had a serious case of deja vu like this is just one person and they just come into your askb ox every once in a while and says “i’d be ______ to be a 22 year old man with/that/etc _________, dude.” SPONGEBOB, RIGHT? I was thinking the same thing.
Dec 31st
3 tags
Anonymous asked: I'd be a little embarrassed to be a 22 year old with Mario on his walls, dude.
Dec 31st
28 notes
Dec 31st
19 notes
I just saw one of those posts that's like
THE SHIRT YOU’RE WEARING IS NOW YOUR SUPER POWER i’m wearing my tardis/portal shirt you guys this is the happiest moment of my life
Dec 31st
24 notes
Someone should print out the notifications I get on my dash and throw them at me while I’m getting out of my car so I can feel famous.
Dec 31st
12 notes
Right after I made that post, I went back to my...
Dec 31st
10 notes
1 tag
Hello! We've noticed you're using an internet that...
While we love encouraging people to access our website, the ever-ignored and persistent problems of our website need to be blamed on something. We believe that a famous service known as “the internet” is in fact to blame, and not our faulty website after all. Specifically: We don’t really understand how things work: The internet is a really big place, and lots of things go wrong...
Dec 31st
384 notes
My "Best of 2011" list
next year is looking pretty much the same
Dec 31st
38 notes
1 tag
nerdyninjanicole replied to your post: Have you ever done acid?
Dec 31st
3 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Have you ever done acid?
Dec 31st
31 notes
2 tags
Dec 31st
997 notes
Monopoly teaches valuable life lessons
And that lesson is that I should never become a tycoon. I turn into someone else when I play Monopoly. It’s not enough that you go bankrupt. That’s the easy way out. Near the end of Monopoly, I start paying off other people’s mortgages on their properties and offering to give them the money to build a hotel on one of their properties if they trade me one of the four places they...
Dec 31st
tumblr, I fucking hate you.
rockinrye: do not log out if you are using chrome/missing e. because you will not be able to get back in unless you use an incognito window. it’ll just keep giving a ‘not found’ tumblr error page when you try to get to tumblr.com.  So this isn’t true… just fyi. I just tried it out and nothing happened.
Dec 31st
3,250 notes
2 tags
Dec 31st
389 notes
3 tags
Dec 31st
43 notes
1 tag
fuckchrisevans asked: Travis, what is your all-time favorite Whose Line moment? *evil laugh*
Dec 31st
13 notes
1 tag
Dec 31st
42 notes
4 tags
Dec 31st
835 notes
3 tags
Dec 31st
44 notes
3 tags
The good news is
whoever picks up Whose Line from ABC Family is going to have a fucking goldmine on their hands. Because that has to happen. That show is too good to not be on the air. The reruns still have me in stitches fucking five years after they stopped making new episodes.
Dec 31st
13 notes
2 tags
Just found out ABC Family is going to stop showing...
Dec 31st
64 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I just finished Ender's Game and started Speaker for the Dead at your recommendation. After sobbing through the entire last chapter of Ender's Game, I've now cried twice in the first fucking chapter of Speaker for the Dead. Are you serious with this shit?
Dec 31st
2 notes
1 tag
Dec 31st
17,948 notes
Dec 31st
31 notes
2 tags
Dec 30th
5,712 notes
5 tags
Dec 30th
1 note
1 tag
agent-fanboy asked: Dad, are you space?
Dec 30th
6 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: What's your favorite thing about space?
Dec 30th
1 tag
Anonymous asked: attracted
Dec 30th
5 notes
2 tags
Turns out I have plans on New Year's Eve.
Brother: Any plans for New Year's Eve?
Me: Not so far.
Brother: WRONG. YOUR PLANS ARE TO BRING THE N64 DOWN FOR DRUNK MARIO KART.
Me: OH RIGHT, MY BAD.
Mom: DUMBASS.
Dec 30th
24 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: it could be a statistics/probability class dealing with sequences couldn't it?
Dec 30th
4 tags
Teacher : What comes after 69?
Student : Mouthwash.
Teacher : Get out.
Dec 30th
98,875 notes
4 tags
If the zombies ever do catch the survivors on The...
they’ll be the most disappointed zombies ever. because none of those characters have any brains.
Dec 30th
40 notes
2 tags
Dec 30th
75 notes
Dec 30th
17,815 notes
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Where does the line of women ready to be your girlfriends start? I'd like to sign up.
Dec 30th
1 tag
Anonymous asked: You're my favorite everything.
Dec 30th
Dec 30th
80,573 notes