About Travis

As an infant, Travis was found in a rowboat in the middle of a small Mongolian village. In the rowboat with him was a stuffed penguin, two copies of Why Cats Paint: A Theory of Feline Aesthetics, and a fossilized fish. The villagers believed the boy to be of supernatural origin and were about to throw him down a well when David Bowie, who had been vacationing nearby, intervened. The rockstar brought Travis to England, where Bowie gave him to Freddie Mercury to raise.

After Mercury’s tragic death in late 1991, Travis bounced between foster families and continents. At the age of nine, Travis decided to make his own way and spent several years hitchhiking across Australia. At twelve, he befriended a large sea turtle which carried him on its back all the way to New Zealand. There he joined the cast of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, though many of his scenes were cut. Viggo Mortensen bought Travis a horse. Travis and Mortensen still keep in touch.

Several years later, Travis met Bryan Cranston in a bookstore. Cranston was despondent following the cancellation of his television series Malcolm in the Middle. Travis encouraged him to try some dramatic roles. Today Cranston has won three Emmys for his work on the drama series Breaking Bad, and has stated in numerous interviews that he feels he owes his success “to a kind young man he met in 2006.”

Travis now resides on a small spacecraft orbiting Earth. He spends his days practicing Taijiquan and growing an impressive beard.
(by woobats

Basically he is Mary Poppins with a dick.
(by batbenknope

  1. woobats submitted this to bastardfromabasket
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