You're just the afterbirth, Eli.

Rape jokes are not okay. This is something I have kind of a personal struggle with because I’m one of those people who thinks that you shouldn’t be able to draw lines about what is and isn’t okay to talk about. But let’s be honest about it, rape jokes are not cool. I’m torn between not wanting to limit what people can joke/talk about and at the same time respecting that rape is THE MOST TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE anyone can go through, and understanding that it’s not something that is okay to mock.

Donald Glover has been going around Tumblr a lot lately for his quote about how he thinks rape jokes should be okay. I’m paraphrasing but his argument is something to the degree of “We joke about murdering people and we all know that’s wrong, so we should be able to joke about rape too.” I cannot disagree with that statement more.

So after much thought, here’s what I’ve come to conclude. People joke about murder a lot, and murder jokes can be funny. Dead baby jokes are funny. Tasteless humor is funny to me. But there is a very important distinction that can be made between rape jokes and other such tasteless jokes.

Everyone knows murder is wrong. Everyone knows killing babies is wrong. Everyone knows Hitler was wrong.

Society FOR SOME FUCKING REASON is still torn about rape.

Now I know rape is wrong, you know rape is wrong. Society doesn’t seem to know rape is wrong. And that’s why it’s not okay to joke about.

When people joke about things like murder there is a tone to the joke that basically says “I didn’t actually do this. This would be wrong. In fact, every person in this room knows that what I am describing is so wrong that it’s ridiculous and kind of funny because I’m not serious. I’d never actually run over an old man with my car. But you all know that so let’s just laugh about it.”

That does not exist with rape. Society is still so fixated on telling people not to get raped rather than not to rape. That’s why it’s not okay. When people joke about rape, the tone switches from “we know this is wrong” to “I’m teaching her a lesson for getting too drunk.” That is fucking terrifying. Until society comes to a point where everyone can finally fucking see that it’s not the victim’s fault, it won’t be okay to tell jokes of that kind. That’s the distinction. When you’re sitting in a room joking about rape, there are almost guaranteed to be some people who think “This joke means it’s okay for me to do it because it’s not my fault.” Sad, terrifying, and true. When you joke about murder, there will not be anyone in the room who thinks “This is funny because it’s the fault of the person I’m murdering.”

When you joke about rape, you’re essentially supporting the idea that it’s the fault of the victim because that’s how society will view the joke. No matter what your intentions are, it’s the outcome that’s important. And the outcome of a rape joke is that you’re shaming any victim of rape and making him/her feel like it’s their fault. When society comes to a point where rape victims can feel comfortable coming forward about their situations, when rapists will actually be punished for their crimes, and when society stops teasing rape victims and shaming them for something they had no control over, maybe we can revisit this subject. No one is going to say that a person who was murdered was at fault. People will say that it is the fault of the person who got raped, and that’s the idea that Donald Glover seems to be supporting (whether inadvertently or not) with his statement.

But I’ve gone way off topic. Louis CK’s joke is hilarious because he is broadcasting the fact that it would be absolutely horrible for him to rape a girl even if he thought that’s what she wanted. He isn’t saying “This one time a girl wanted me to rape her and that’s funny because rape is funny!” He is saying “This one time I was making out with a girl but I didn’t rape her because I’m not a fucking monster. Then the next day I found out she did want me to and that’s funny because IT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN OKAY FOR ME TO DO THAT.” The second he says “Are you out of your fucking mind?” in that joke, he’s making is very clear that what he means is “THIS IS NOT AN OKAY THING. WE DO NOT RAPE PEOPLE EVEN IF THEY SEEM LIKE THEY WANT US TO BECAUSE THAT IS INHUMANE.”

So. I disagree. I think his joke is fucking hilarious and he is a wonderful human being.