May 2nd, 2012 at 7:41PM

(via shutupanddiehl)

36,653 notes Source: antiquers #louis ck
March 8th, 2012 at 8:34PM

(via eveningowl)

278 notes Source: jadebri #american hero#louis ck
January 25th, 2012 at 8:37PM
likeadoll: “I play Monopoly with my kids, that’s really fun. My nine year old, she can totally do Monopoly. The six year old totally gets how the game works but she’s not emotionally developed enough to handle her inevitable loss in every game of Monopoly because a monopoly loss is dark. It’s heavy. It’s not like when you lose at Candyland ‘Oh you got stuck in the fudgy-thing, baby! Oh well you’re in the gummy twirly-o’s! You didn’t get to win!’ But when she loses at Monopoly, I gotta look at her little face and go ‘Ok, so here’s what’s gonna happen now, ok? All your property, everything you have, all your railroads and houses, and all your money…that’s mine now. Gotta give it all to me. Give it to me, that’s right. And no no, you can’t play anymore because, you see, even though you’re giving me all of that, it doesn’t even touch how you owe me. Doesn’t even touch it, baby. You’re going down hard, it’s really bad. All you’ve been working for all day, I’m gonna take it now and I’m gonna use it to destroy your sister. I mean I’m gonna ruin her! It is just mayhem on this board for her now.’” Louis CK: Live at the Beacon Theater

likeadoll:

“I play Monopoly with my kids, that’s really fun. My nine year old, she can totally do Monopoly. The six year old totally gets how the game works but she’s not emotionally developed enough to handle her inevitable loss in every game of Monopoly because a monopoly loss is dark. It’s heavy. It’s not like when you lose at Candyland ‘Oh you got stuck in the fudgy-thing, baby! Oh well you’re in the gummy twirly-o’s! You didn’t get to win!’ But when she loses at Monopoly, I gotta look at her little face and go ‘Ok, so here’s what’s gonna happen now, ok? All your property, everything you have, all your railroads and houses, and all your money…that’s mine now. Gotta give it all to me. Give it to me, that’s right. And no no, you can’t play anymore because, you see, even though you’re giving me all of that, it doesn’t even touch how you owe me. Doesn’t even touch it, baby. You’re going down hard, it’s really bad. All you’ve been working for all day, I’m gonna take it now and I’m gonna use it to destroy your sister. I mean I’m gonna ruin her! It is just mayhem on this board for her now.’”

Louis CK: Live at the Beacon Theater

(via jesushawk)

1,034 notes Source: becketts #this is why monopoly is my favorite#because i don't play to win#i play to see you fucking shamed#louis ck
December 13th, 2011 at 12:38PM

(via everythingistooexpensive-deacti)

85 notes #life hero#role model#i just love you#louis ck#louie
December 5th, 2011 at 7:34PM
Louis CK

Louis CK

37 notes Source: mormerstuff #the only funny 9/11 joke ever told#aside from that one in arrested development#louis ck
November 15th, 2011 at 3:00PM

fureddi:

(x)

98 notes Source: fureddimerukuri #this is what i would be like if i ever had kids#every opinion he has about his kids is how i feel all the time#louis ck
November 15th, 2011 at 2:56PM
strayfrompath: Oh lawdy…

strayfrompath:

Oh lawdy…

106 notes Source: strayfrompath #every person should be like louis#louis ck
November 15th, 2011 at 2:49PM
wherenothingsayseverything: white people problems xD

wherenothingsayseverything:

white people problems xD

688 notes Source: where-nothing-says-everything #seriously the greatest human being#louis ck
November 15th, 2011 at 2:47PM

(via lightupp-deactivated20111210)

729 notes #louis ck
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:57PM
[on arguments against same-sex marriage] Or that argument with the soccer moms: ‘How am I gonna explain that to my kid? I don’t like explaining things to my kid. I don’t like talking to him, so you should stop your whole lifestyle. So that I don’t have to talk to my kid, you should stop being in love with each other cause….. ewwww.’ — Louis CK
#louis ck#stand up comedy#politics#same-sex marriage